How should couples deal with emotional flooding in arguments according to Gottman?

In Gottman's approach to couples therapy, emotional flooding refers to an overwhelming emotional response that can hinder effective communication during disagreements. When individuals experience flooding, they may feel flooded with negative emotions, making it difficult to think clearly or engage constructively in the conversation.

The recommended strategy for couples facing this challenge is to take breaks and return to the discussion when they are calm. This approach allows both partners to step back from the heightened emotions of the moment, thereby reducing the intensity of the conflict. Taking a break enables individuals to self-soothe and regain composure, which in turn allows for more rational and empathetic communication when they resume the conversation. This method promotes a healthier dialogue, fostering understanding and connection rather than escalation and resentment.

Engaging in the argument until a resolution is reached can lead to more intense flooding and potentially damaging exchanges. Ignoring issues altogether tends to allow them to fester, resulting in unresolved conflicts that can erode a relationship over time. Involving a third party might be appropriate in some situations, but it doesn't directly address the immediate need for emotional regulation that taking a break provides. Thus, the option to take breaks is the most effective and supportive approach for couples to manage emotional flooding.