What does "self-soothing" refer to in the context of Gottman's therapy?

In the context of Gottman's therapy, "self-soothing" refers specifically to techniques individuals use to calm their own emotions during conflicts. This concept is critical in managing heightened emotional responses and fostering healthy communication between partners. By practicing self-soothing, individuals can prevent escalation during disagreements, reduce feelings of overwhelm, and regain a sense of control. This practice enables partners to approach conflicts with a clearer mind and a more open heart, facilitating constructive conversations and reducing defensive behaviors.

Self-soothing techniques can include deep breathing, taking a break to collect one's thoughts, engaging in mindfulness exercises, or employing any personal strategies that foster emotional regulation. This skill reinforces the importance of individual emotional health in maintaining a positive relationship dynamic. In essence, self-soothing empowers individuals to not only manage their emotional state but also contribute to a more respectful and understanding interaction with their partner during conflicts.