What is the best method for a therapist to verify if one or both partners are flooded?

The best method for a therapist to verify if one or both partners are flooded involves observing their facial expressions and emotions. The concept of flooding refers to an overwhelming emotional state where individuals feel flooded with feelings of frustration, anger, or confusion, often resulting in their ability to communicate effectively being incredibly compromised. Therapists trained in Gottman's method are keenly aware of non-verbal cues, which can include facial expressions, body language, and emotional reactions.

When a partner is flooded, they may exhibit visible signs of distress, such as tense facial expressions, avoidance of eye contact, or physical indicators of anxiety or fear. By closely observing these cues, therapists can assess emotional states and determine if one or both partners are in a heightened emotional condition that requires de-escalation or specific intervention strategies.

The other methods, while they might provide some insights, are less reliable for assessing flooding. Monitoring heart rates could provide physiological data but wouldn't capture the nuanced emotional experience of the partners. Observing the Four Horsemen—criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling—provides information about the nature of the conflict but not direct evidence of flooding. Lastly, the akimbo position, where arms are placed on the hips, can indicate a defensive posture